A Single Breath

At age 42,
I feel the need to
Slow down,
My day filled with
An empty busyness.

I read a page in my book and
Already my hand is reaching for the
Next page.
I take a bite of food, and
Already I heap more on my fork.
I drive to pick up the kids from school,
Already planning the rest of the week, not just
This one, unique, unrepeatable afternoon.

Rush, rush rush
More, more, more.
No more.

Instead,
I want to be aware of
One full breath from
Start to finish.
Inhale
Inhale
Inhale
Deep into the unused recesses of
My unhurried lungs.
Then, exhale
Exhale
Exhale
Stale air I’ve carried with me
And had expected to carry
Still.

Inhale
Inhale
Inhale
Belly rising, expanding, making room for
Life to happen.
Exhale
Exhale
Exhale
Letting go of what is past,
What is no longer needed,
Burdens released with the lightness of
A single breath.

I may have grown up thinking
That having no time to breathe
Is an asset
A proof of living to the utmost,
But now I’m all grown up
I find
That not breathing has
Been equivalent, in my case,
With inaction, depression, indecision, anxiety,
With the empty busyness with which so far
I spent my life.

So now,
Instead of getting cracking on my second half of life,
My next 42 years,
If they be granted,
I have begun to
Not rush rush rush.

I pause
And
Breathe.
Inhale
Inhale
Inhale
Cells brimming with oxygen,
Exhale
Exhale
Exhale
Letting go of inaction, depression, indecision, anxiety.
Letting go of empty busyness.

I pause and breathe,
And the expansion of this one, unique, unrepeatable breath is
Making that most amazing of
Differences,
Because,
With the expansion of my breath
With the release of stale air
With that oh-so-sacred pause,
I finally realize that, deep inside,

I
Feel
Happy.